It's been far too long!

Oh my goodness, it has been far to long since I have updated in my blogs. What is wrong with me? Life after college apparently does keep you quite busy! So I've been working my life away - yes that is right. I put in a good 50 hours a week I am sure of that and what is more annoying is half the time is spent staring at the wall waiting for someone either to approve a quote, or approve of something I had been working on or better yet just waiting for someone to give me something to do. Most of the shit tends too fall on my lap about a half an hour before my schedule time to leave occurs....

That's my life at work so what is going on with my personal life? Well - I've managed to get a lot of things done for the wedding. Yippie! I am down to getting my dress, order flowers, invitations and some other goodies that I am sure I am forgetting. Ugh this whole getting married shit is too much for me? Cant I just have a nice beautiful day with my friends and family around without all the showy shit that costs me an arm and a leg. My god people its for one day one fucking day! Jesus, so annoying!

Scott and I are looking to rent out our own place. YAY.. but me being so damn picky, its not an easy process. I gotta have the goods and if I don't have them, I dont give the place the time of the day. I refuse to live in some shit hole with 1950's appliances. Um sorry no! So were on the hunt for something nice and new. So if you know anyone who is renting out a condo that is sharp, please do let me know :)

Well that is it for now.. I hope to get out of work at a decent time to enjoy this beautiful day we have! 70 degree weather... you couldnt ask for anything betta... :)

It's been a long day

It's definitely been a long day here in the office. I haven't done much.. besides petty stuff like get my boss his lunch and look for cheap creative gift ideas for clients. Now that's what I call a big girl job right? I know someday I will get there. I've been trying to prove myself and show that I can do bigger and better things but it's hard to do it here when the main person who is going to approve of your promotion is never here to see what you can do or even give you the chance.

I feel like I'm running out of options at this point. I have decided that I am not going to go back to school right now because I simply can not afford it and I don't want to wrack up anymore student debt, I have enough as it is and that is already starting to worry me. How the hell am I going to pay back these loans???

Next month will be my next big reality check. I get the student loan bills coming in the mail demanding payment.. Seriously I am dreading this.. at this point in my life, all I want to do is just move out of my parents house and live on my own and become my own independent person, but when I make shit I cant do that.

I always thought that I would land some big job after graduation and I was sorely mistaken.. I'm making less then what I did at my last internship.. but I do have to be thankful that I have a job that is actually proving me with experience its just not what I wanted right out of school. I miss school a lot. I miss college life and the papers and all that drama. My only drama now is well.. planning my wedding.. which lets face it, I haven't really been planning my wedding because well that costs money and again, I make shit so I can't have my dream wedding.

Everyone keeps asking me about it and I swear I'm going to blow. At this point, I just want to go to a beautiful location on an island and call it a day. Why do I need a big wedding? It's seriously just a waste of money to me. Half the time you don't get the return you spent on the way over priced food for the gifts that you receive. Is it worth it?

I really want to get married next year and it sucks that I can't. I don't care that people say that I'm too young to get married. I love Scott and I know I want to be with him. I already know everything about this man, granted I don't live with him Tuesday-Thursday, I live with him the rest of the time and I quickly realized what kind of man he is and I don't have a problem with it. Sometimes we just say were going to get married at the court house one day and just surprise everyone and say that were married... I know my parents would kill me but why should I care its my wedding right??

I have no idea how the hell were going to pay for this?? It's not like were both loaded.. because clearly we are not. I've spent the last five years paying for all of my own schooling, I bought my own car, I pay my own insurance.. I should've known that my parents werent going to pay for a wedding..

I'm learning so much as a young women through my parents. I've learned that I do not want to have to put stress on my children when it comes to going to college. Scott and I already discuss that were going to have a college savings account for our children so that they dont have to pay to go to school. It's a major burden and it really sucks that right now as I am trying to become independent I cant because I have student loans that bite my ass now. It's just not fair. I'm not putting my kids through that..

Ok well enough of that rant.. you can tell that it upsets me! I'm not having a good day today. Scott just told me that he was going to get let go if his old plant manager had never been relocated.. Although, they told him this, I would still be shitting my pants if I were him. Sure they could say that your ok right now.. it doesnt mean you will be next month??

Ughhh... times suck right now. I'm listening to Josh Groban right now just to keep me at peace. His music is so inspirational and uplifting. It's what seriously helped me get through my many down times. Thank god its almost time to leave work, its been too slow for me to handle. But thats a good thing right? I'm sure it will pick back up again shortly.

Until then happy blogging :)

It's time for the hoildays!

Yuck I'm sitting here back at work after a much needed four days off.. There isn't much to do just yet, I didn't come back to a shit load of e-mails nor did I come back to a whole to-do list.. so I've got some time to do my blogging I guess.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving, I know I sure did. Two thanksgiving feasts and wine night out with the girls has seriously put its toul on my body. After months of trying to watch my weight for the holidays and of course get back into shape, I feel like I have completely lost it. However, I know I am not alone! There is just too much good food to pass up around this time of the year.. how can you not pass up all the chocolate and candies.. my philiosophy.. you only live once.. do whatever the hell you feel like doing! Yup, that's exactly what I did this past weekend.

So now, I am back to eatting practically crap food, well not all of it is so bad but who doesnt love a good steak? I can't eat one of those until next year probably. Will see..

Anyways... life is well life.. I did a boat load of shopping this past weekend, I do believe between Scott and I we put in about $500 into the economy. I know were supposed to be saving for the wedding but it's just so hard when their are some amazing deals out there. We bought our first piece of furtinure together.. aww... we got a really nice dining room set for $145.00! I know amazing! The apartment is finally looking more and more like a home and less and less of a bachleor pad. I wish I could just move in but I dont want to live with two guys and really Scott's roommate and I dont really have that kind of relationship where I think I can just live there with them two. I still feel weird when I have to leave the apartment for work on Monday mornings.. when am I going to get over that crazy fear.. who knows!

So whenever the economy kicks back up and I dont have to worry about my job then will probably get our own place together.. but for now were just buying up all that we can at these amazing prices.

I have all my christmas shopping completely done.. man it feels great! For the first time, I have all of my Christmas shopping done before December. Needless to say, I did lose some qualitiy sleeping time but it was well worth it. Scott and I started our Friday morning at about 4ish well I did, he stayed up all night. Our first store we hit up was Kohols at about 4:15am we arrived to caios and crazy lines but I was well prepared going into this that we were going to have to wait in massive lines. I had seen some pretty sweet Christmas decorations on sale there and had to get them before they were gone. So we waited in line to purchase our stuff for about a good hour and half. By the time we walked out of their at about 5:45am Target next door was opening up at 6am.. Now I have never in my life waited in such a massive line to get into a store but I tell you this was freaking crazy but I had to get some gifts and I knew that they would be gone. I would normally say what I got but then I would be blowing the surprise for some people that I know read my blog.. so the gifts will remain anoymous.

So by the end of our target trip we succesfully came home at 6:45am! I crashed for a bit and then we hit the mall at about 3ish and really the mall wasnt too bad.. I think that's where you can see that Michigan is definitly in a recession because there were not a whole lot of people buying stuff at the mall. There really wasnt any big deals just a few things hear and there but that was about it.. I did come out successful there though got some more gift shopping done and concluded my day of shopping! Now it feels great to sit back, relax and drink my cup of joe while everyone else goes crazy doing last minute Christmas shopping!

Well I should get back to work!

Anniversary Party

I really need to catch up with my posts.. this working full time after college is pretty much kicking me in the butt now :p but I'm slowly catching up and putting the more important things on here rather than just discussing life thoughts..

Ok so a couple weekends ago on October 18th, 2008 we celebrated my parents 25th wedding anniversary! I thought that it would be wonderful if I could get the whole family together and throw one big surprise party for them because lets face it, first I have some pretty awesome parents and two, finding couples who stay married that long are near to impossible these days because most often, people just give up on marriage and go find another partner to make them happy again.

I value marriage to the utmost and hope that my marriage with Scott will be just as ever longing as my parents and his too (they've been married a lot longer) so I know that it was very important to have a celebration and to bring the family together. My parents were quite impressed as was everyone else.. I spent my first barley hard earned pay checks on a fancy caterer which I think impressed a few of my family members but hey, this was for my parents not for everyone else. I wanted to show them how much I honor and respect their love for one another and well ok so I wanted to be a show off.. but come on I deserve to do that right? After all, there are certain people in my family who will remain anoyomous that have it out to some how get to me.. I don't know what it is.. wait actually I do.. they see that I'm becoming successful and a young women capable of doing things without the help of man and I think it freaks them out.

So the thing that I take away from throwing my first "adult" party is that no matter how much other people in your family talk about me, it doesnt matter because the people who are in your life that do nothing but respect who you are and give you love and neautring advice are the ones that mean the most to me. I'm so glad that I do have a strong support system between my parents and my moms side of the family. They were so proud of me and that's what I take out of this. When someone praises you for a job well done that is all a person needs.. there's no need to go on and embellish it, just simply say "job well done!"

My not so highly inticipated 23rd Birthday

So it's my 23rd birthday next Wednesday! As of right now, I don't have one thing planned for it. Well maybe a nice dinner out with Scott but that's pretty much it.. I know that I have to get up early, put a smile and go to work for the majority of the day. I haven't really been that anxious for my birthday this year only because turning 23 really doesn't have any significant meaning to it. It's just another year in this young 20 something world.

Truth be told, I hear that turning 23 is supposed to be one the biggest highlights of your entire life though. For some, I guess it's the best time they ever had being 23 that is. Is it because it's the first time in what 15 years that we no longer have school to worry about, unless your the highly chic and getting your masters degree? Or it could quite possibly be because most of us venture away from the oh so wonderful nest home of our parents place.

Whatever the case may be, I'm just going to toast my birthday(with a martini) with my wonderful fiance and reflect on what quite possibly could be the best year of my life.. right???

I guess I could also put together a list of things I would like to accomplish while I'm 23.. let's see..

1. Be more satisfied with my job
2. Land a killer job
3. Move out of my parents home and stay with Scott indefinitely and not just on the weekends!
4. Get out of debt for good
5. Increase my shoe collection
6. Did I forget to say Move out??
7. Look up schools for interior design and actually act on my dream

That looks pretty good. I wonder how many I will be able to accomplish.. Will just have to wait and see I guess :)

So what does my title mean?

Now that I have entered the real world and have acquired a "professional title" I begin to question what does my title mean? Right now, I'm technically an account coordinator for a marketing/communications agency. I bet your wondering why I wrote technically, right? Well literally an account coordinator to my understanding thus far does not do a much! Aside from running errands for people, grabbing your boss's lunch and basically doing all the shit work that nobody else wants to do is pretty much what my job entails.

Was this something that I wanted to do once I retained my degree? Absolutely not! I[m beginning to question once again, is this something that I want to do with my life? Do I want to be the personal bitch of the office? Everyone told me that going into an agency, I was going to literally breath and eat shit. You got to start somewhere I thought.. but did I really have to start here?

I have very high standards for myself and this job is not one that I ever thought I would be doing. I honestly didn't go to college to just do small mundane tasks? Or either sit here and blog while I am at work! I went to school so that I could contribute something to society. Be something great at work.. But time and time again, I see myself falling into this same rut. I ask for things to do, I even offer to help out with anything but nobody seems to want my help.

Am I threat to people? I'm often told that I can be a bit intimidating but seriously people, I'm just a recent college grad just trying to get some work accomplished. I want to go home thinking wow I got a lot accomplished today.. I dont want to go home and ask myself, what the hell did I do at work today besides sit around on facebook and chat to my fiance and friends??

This is not what I want to do. But I have no other choice.. I already quit one job because it wasnt for me, I'm not about to go and quit another one because I have a lack of work here. I want to be somebody.. I want to show the world what I am capable of doing.. I'm beinginning to question, if I will ever be allowed to do so!

I wonder if anyone else out there feels the same way? Have you ever had these same thoughts and feelings? Is there anyone else out there that literally does nothing all day and gets paid to just sit there??? How do you feel? Doesnt it just make you feel like a complete waste of space?

I'm beginning to have drepessed thoughts about graduating so early. I wanted to so bad get out into the work force so that I could start my career early but now I feel like its bitten me in the ass.. and hard!

Ugh... well those are just my thoughts, I suppose I should go around and ask everyone if there is anything I can do.. or maybe I could just remind them that I have a college degree..

Sadly you got to know someone

So I have been told time and time again, that in order to be successful in this economy, YOU NEED TO KNOW SOMEBODY! So who do you know? More importantly, how do we get to know these people that we so called "need" to know?

I pose these questions because I think that like many people as myself, we need to know the answers to these questions. Luckily, I think I know the answer to these questions!

When I first started my career as an intern for the two companies that I interned for, I always asked myself what is this going to do for me? Will it just help me land another job? Or would it just simply be a waste of my time? Actually the answer to those questions could be quite surprising. I found that in my first internship, it was a waste of time for me. Here I was as an HR Intern and my degree wasn't even specialized in that field at all. I came to work everyday doing HR functions, nothing to the extent of what I was learning at school. However, at the same time, I was meeting people that were going to help me succeed in every day life.

While I was there, I met a director who told me and encouraged me to continue reaching for my goals and do something that inspires me to be the best that I can be. I met a recruiter who spiced up my resume and gave me tips and tools to help me stand out amongst the rest. And then I met my boss who was such a great listener and counselor who also guided me into figuring out what it is that I want out of life.

So really, it wasn't a big waste of my time because I had met some people that I had I not met, wouldn't have been able to give me a push or give me experience to find out if maybe, "hey I like HR."

Going on to my next internship, in my field of studies. Communications! I was so happy and so thrilled that I finally was able to get into an internship that would enable me to put my skills and knowledge to work. At first it was a challenge because it was more journalism related and I wasn't a big huge fan of writing all day, everyday! But I took that with a grain of salt and looked at like someone here is going to help me land my next big gig!

And what do you know! If it wasn't for my boss, I never would have gotten my first offer outside of college in the advertising field. She knew of some people and recommended me over to their agency and here I am now.

In just three days I will be working in my first ever big girl job. I will finally be a career women and proving to society that like men, women can succeed too! It's a great feeling. Here I am only 22 years old and getting ready to do something with my life and begin to see the wonderful things that happen to you once you leave school.

I'm so grateful that I was able to continue my education outside of high school. I encourage everyone that I meet that in order to make something out of life you got to do something about your life in order to get there. Most of the time it means going to college and finding what your good at and getting that little piece of paper to prove that, yes you are in fact good at what your good at doing!

So my point, look at everyone you meet in life and say to yourself this person may no somebody who could get you your next big gig or they may do something in your life that will help you get there!