It's been a long day

It's definitely been a long day here in the office. I haven't done much.. besides petty stuff like get my boss his lunch and look for cheap creative gift ideas for clients. Now that's what I call a big girl job right? I know someday I will get there. I've been trying to prove myself and show that I can do bigger and better things but it's hard to do it here when the main person who is going to approve of your promotion is never here to see what you can do or even give you the chance.

I feel like I'm running out of options at this point. I have decided that I am not going to go back to school right now because I simply can not afford it and I don't want to wrack up anymore student debt, I have enough as it is and that is already starting to worry me. How the hell am I going to pay back these loans???

Next month will be my next big reality check. I get the student loan bills coming in the mail demanding payment.. Seriously I am dreading this.. at this point in my life, all I want to do is just move out of my parents house and live on my own and become my own independent person, but when I make shit I cant do that.

I always thought that I would land some big job after graduation and I was sorely mistaken.. I'm making less then what I did at my last internship.. but I do have to be thankful that I have a job that is actually proving me with experience its just not what I wanted right out of school. I miss school a lot. I miss college life and the papers and all that drama. My only drama now is well.. planning my wedding.. which lets face it, I haven't really been planning my wedding because well that costs money and again, I make shit so I can't have my dream wedding.

Everyone keeps asking me about it and I swear I'm going to blow. At this point, I just want to go to a beautiful location on an island and call it a day. Why do I need a big wedding? It's seriously just a waste of money to me. Half the time you don't get the return you spent on the way over priced food for the gifts that you receive. Is it worth it?

I really want to get married next year and it sucks that I can't. I don't care that people say that I'm too young to get married. I love Scott and I know I want to be with him. I already know everything about this man, granted I don't live with him Tuesday-Thursday, I live with him the rest of the time and I quickly realized what kind of man he is and I don't have a problem with it. Sometimes we just say were going to get married at the court house one day and just surprise everyone and say that were married... I know my parents would kill me but why should I care its my wedding right??

I have no idea how the hell were going to pay for this?? It's not like were both loaded.. because clearly we are not. I've spent the last five years paying for all of my own schooling, I bought my own car, I pay my own insurance.. I should've known that my parents werent going to pay for a wedding..

I'm learning so much as a young women through my parents. I've learned that I do not want to have to put stress on my children when it comes to going to college. Scott and I already discuss that were going to have a college savings account for our children so that they dont have to pay to go to school. It's a major burden and it really sucks that right now as I am trying to become independent I cant because I have student loans that bite my ass now. It's just not fair. I'm not putting my kids through that..

Ok well enough of that rant.. you can tell that it upsets me! I'm not having a good day today. Scott just told me that he was going to get let go if his old plant manager had never been relocated.. Although, they told him this, I would still be shitting my pants if I were him. Sure they could say that your ok right now.. it doesnt mean you will be next month??

Ughhh... times suck right now. I'm listening to Josh Groban right now just to keep me at peace. His music is so inspirational and uplifting. It's what seriously helped me get through my many down times. Thank god its almost time to leave work, its been too slow for me to handle. But thats a good thing right? I'm sure it will pick back up again shortly.

Until then happy blogging :)

It's time for the hoildays!

Yuck I'm sitting here back at work after a much needed four days off.. There isn't much to do just yet, I didn't come back to a shit load of e-mails nor did I come back to a whole to-do list.. so I've got some time to do my blogging I guess.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving, I know I sure did. Two thanksgiving feasts and wine night out with the girls has seriously put its toul on my body. After months of trying to watch my weight for the holidays and of course get back into shape, I feel like I have completely lost it. However, I know I am not alone! There is just too much good food to pass up around this time of the year.. how can you not pass up all the chocolate and candies.. my philiosophy.. you only live once.. do whatever the hell you feel like doing! Yup, that's exactly what I did this past weekend.

So now, I am back to eatting practically crap food, well not all of it is so bad but who doesnt love a good steak? I can't eat one of those until next year probably. Will see..

Anyways... life is well life.. I did a boat load of shopping this past weekend, I do believe between Scott and I we put in about $500 into the economy. I know were supposed to be saving for the wedding but it's just so hard when their are some amazing deals out there. We bought our first piece of furtinure together.. aww... we got a really nice dining room set for $145.00! I know amazing! The apartment is finally looking more and more like a home and less and less of a bachleor pad. I wish I could just move in but I dont want to live with two guys and really Scott's roommate and I dont really have that kind of relationship where I think I can just live there with them two. I still feel weird when I have to leave the apartment for work on Monday mornings.. when am I going to get over that crazy fear.. who knows!

So whenever the economy kicks back up and I dont have to worry about my job then will probably get our own place together.. but for now were just buying up all that we can at these amazing prices.

I have all my christmas shopping completely done.. man it feels great! For the first time, I have all of my Christmas shopping done before December. Needless to say, I did lose some qualitiy sleeping time but it was well worth it. Scott and I started our Friday morning at about 4ish well I did, he stayed up all night. Our first store we hit up was Kohols at about 4:15am we arrived to caios and crazy lines but I was well prepared going into this that we were going to have to wait in massive lines. I had seen some pretty sweet Christmas decorations on sale there and had to get them before they were gone. So we waited in line to purchase our stuff for about a good hour and half. By the time we walked out of their at about 5:45am Target next door was opening up at 6am.. Now I have never in my life waited in such a massive line to get into a store but I tell you this was freaking crazy but I had to get some gifts and I knew that they would be gone. I would normally say what I got but then I would be blowing the surprise for some people that I know read my blog.. so the gifts will remain anoymous.

So by the end of our target trip we succesfully came home at 6:45am! I crashed for a bit and then we hit the mall at about 3ish and really the mall wasnt too bad.. I think that's where you can see that Michigan is definitly in a recession because there were not a whole lot of people buying stuff at the mall. There really wasnt any big deals just a few things hear and there but that was about it.. I did come out successful there though got some more gift shopping done and concluded my day of shopping! Now it feels great to sit back, relax and drink my cup of joe while everyone else goes crazy doing last minute Christmas shopping!

Well I should get back to work!